Sunday, December 19, 2010

uncomfortable and distracted.


morning people. it's Sunday and i love-hate it.
although Sunday is like a big holiday for the week but then, it's the sign that Monday's coming.
it means that block 1.3 is gonna start real soon. *haihhhh*

So, here i am, being a bit enthusiastic of updating my blog. thanks to baby, who kept saying "you, bile nak update blog?" teeeheeee:D

so, what's up with the title up there?
Okay, yesterday i went to the volleyball practice. not really a practice because it seemed like we were playing just for fun. volleyball, for this moment is my passion other than swimming. volleyball is what i really want to get involved seriously and i'm looking forward to join the volleyball team for Bandung Games again next year. i wish i could. amin:)
but then, there's something or specifically someone that made me uncomfortable and distracted when we were playing volleyball. i wasn't thought that this person would come and play along. although, this person always did join us in the previous practice, but i don't want this person to be there. oh, seriously, i hate it. i hate the situation so much that i feel like calling taxi at the moment i saw this person arrived. i hate it so much that i really wanted to get out of the court asap. but that's gonna be really obvious right? bad idea!

Actually, i don't really hate this person. no, not at all. (as mentioned above, i only hate the situation) it's just that seeing and facing this person made me guilty. like i'm the convicted one. i don't know why, but i think i have treated this person badly and of course i feel bad about it. maybe this person would not feel anything about what happened but i can't. i just can't get it out of my mind. i hate it when i did something bad at people and i have to face that people again. i feel like i owe an apology. but should I say sorry?  err...
well, there will be another practice on every Saturday. seriously i want to come and play, but thinking of i'm gonna face this person again really made me thinking of quitting..quitting volleyball? should i quit?

but hell no! this is my passion, and this is what i want. so, i will never let this person kill it. maybe i just have to find a way on how to deal with it. concentrate, girl!

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