Those stories are mine now.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Assalamualaikum wbt...

Today, I'm an almost-21-year-old girl. Lots of stories I've known on my way to reach this stage of my life. I was a bookworm back in my primary school. I enjoy reading stories about life, investigations..not that lovey-dovey-Alaf 21-novels. But, my interest in reading storybooks faded when I entered secondary school. I guess, that was just because there were textbooks needed more attention. Apart of reading, I got to know more stories by watching movies, news, gossiping, listen to the radio, went to talks and etc.

Those stories I heard, they're  variable. From a happy-colourful story to a grey-sorrow-sad-sad story..and there were stories that I wish they would never occurred to me. The stories that don't need me to be a part of the characters. And for these stories, I wish I just could be a reader or a watcher that would learn something from them.

But Allah has His own plans for me. When Allah says 'kun fayakun', so be it. And..taraaaa, I guess I've became the main character in one of the stories. I'm pretty sure there must be something that He wants me to learn from what I'm confronting right now. Perhaps people around me would say "Poor she" or "Pity her" or whatever. Thanks for the sympathies but what made me stronger is the fact that our life in this dunya is short. too short if compared to the Hereafter. Seriously, what made me strong is my faith to Allah and His promises. He's the best listener ever. Allah sebaik-baik tempat bergantung. And, someday this story would come to an end. Either it's a happy ending or sad ending, I don't know. But all that I hope, I would settle down peacefully in the Afterlife phase, insya-Allah..amiinnn..

what's your story, btw?

malapetaka

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Semalam, saya ber-bualatan gembira dengan mereka yang special. Ahaks.
Jadinya, share punya share..bincang punya bincang tiba-tiba Mama Usrah kitorang pun bagi satu soalan.

Apa malapetaka korang?

Yes, apa malapetaka yang pernah korang alami?  Mama Usrah pointed at each of us. Blank.
Tapi, kitorang blank bukanlah sebab kitorang tak pernah tak mengalami sesuatu yang buruk. No. Of course lah pernah. But, we don't know what was the worst incident that we had, that could be something yang boleh dilabel as 'malapetaka'.

Someone came up with the idea "saya rasa remed (repeat) anatomy exam kot malapetaka"
and the other "inhall microbiology kot. sebab kene halau keluar kelas"
and my opinion "dapat result exam teruk kot?"

Haha. memang nampak sangat lah kita semua ni memang exam-oriented punya people. ni memang student hardcore habis kan.

Palestinians, Syrians would be totally LOL-ing at us (laughing out loud). And they would say;
"Derrr, result kau teruk sikit jer pun. Tu pun boleh remed kooot. Ade tak dia menjejaskan nyawa kau? Keselamatan kau? Takde kann.."

Ehhh..point saya terlari sekejap. Apa yang saya nak highlight kat sini is; isn't it too obvious yang kita, students nih dah didoktrin dengan exam, exam dan exam..


Since when eh?..since umur kita around 7 tahun kan. So, when it comes to exam, kite sanggup duduk dalam bilik tuh berjam-jam..tak makan, tak minum, tak pergi toilet, tak tidur etc etc. Betapa besarnya impact exam tuh kat kita kan. Kan? Kan?

Tapi sebenarnya, kita semua tengah mengalami malapetaka tawuu sekarang nih. Indeed it's a big one. Have you seen the world around us. The world is now ruled without justice, Muslims been killed sesuka hati, maksiat everywhere, babies dibuang mati, and paling penting sekali is benda yang haram dibolehkan malah diperlukan. (eg: card credit is known as a system yang ade unsur-riba riba obviously. but somehow, saya rasa ramai orang guna card nih skrg. Indeed, in some business, card credit diperlukan gitu.)

Betapa dunia kita sekarang dah macam menyerupai zaman jahiliyah dulu kan. Sila check ya ciri-ciri zaman jahiliyah yang dulu. And buatlah comparison dengan apa yang berlaku sekarang. Insya-Allah, akan nampak persamaan di situ.

and "oh, itulah malapetaka saya yang sekarang" *baru sedar*. kikiki

for most of words i wrote above, about how a student think; it is 100% about me. Betapa hidup saya dah dicorakkan dengan something yang sekular. hoho~

ps: OH, YA..APA MALAPETAKA KORANG?

it's not as easy as...

assalamulaikum wbt

Well, we all do know what word comes after the 'as' in the title up there. it is ABC.

Recently, I lost a grandmother, whom I would always dearly addressed her as Maktok. It was a great shock for me, because I was on the phone with her within a month before she was gone and she sounded okay. I mean okay; as healthy as always. She may have some problems with her knee a.k.a arthritis. But , it was just that. And the last time I've checked, arthritis wouldn't cause mortality, except if you fall due to arthritis. So, that night, she was gone due to breathing difficulty.

That call I got at 7am, really really shocked me. But since then, I've tried to get myself busy, by avoiding staying alone in my bedroom, if not..my tear glands would be stimulated. But still, whenever I went to bed, I would always have her in mind. It's like I'm flashing back all the memories I had with her. I could see how she would greet me with hugs and kisses whenever I went back to kampung. I could feel how I would hold her arms when she was having difficulty in walking. And, I would miss to experience that all over again.

Some people may have the thought 'she's only your grandmother, not your mother or father' so why bother grieving too long?. I'm sorry that those people may not have a good relationship with their grandparents,but the relationship i had with my Maktok is special. I would call her whenever I have problems or some hot stories to be told, she knew my crushes and stuffs. Or maybe asking for recipes. And, I also planned to stay with her during the upcoming holidays. Can you imagine how close we were?

And then one day, I had a talk with my friend, who had experienced a loss in her life too. I would not tell details of our conversations because it was a long one but she told me in the Quran, it is stated that our time of death has been  decided by Allah, and it would not be any faster or later than that. It made me think that how healthy a person is, the death is not any further from that person. People don't need a sign to be gone.

So do you..and me.

Alhamdulillah, after the talk, I am abled to be calm again. Maybe I've heard what I wanted to hear, not what I have/need to hear. Merci mon amie. Till death do us apart.

p/s: and how does my title relates with my situation?

to deal with the death of the loved ones, it is not as easy as ABC..

cinta itu wujud ga?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Alhamdulillah, done with the block exam, done with the third semester. it's been approximately one and a half year since my first breath in Yogyakarta. wooww, i didn't realise that time could fly that FAST. it feels like i've just got here yesterday. (okay, itu tipu)

So, I had my exam on last Thursday, in the morning. It was errr NO FUN at all. so after that, I decided to lullaby myself at my regular salon, lemme just name it as Salon A.

Worker 1: Mbak Nabilah, kok datangnya sendiri? Mau bikin apa hari ini?
Saya: Iya, temannya semuanya baru pulang dari shopping. Hari ini saya mau bikin ....... Bisa ga?
Worker 1: ohh..bisa kok!

It took about 4 hours to finish my business there. As I was well-informed that the process would take a long time, I brought along my novels "Al-Quran Braille Buat Nadia" and also "Jalan Cinta Para Pejuang" to you know, avoid boredom.

Along the 4 hours, we had our conversations, talking about random things, Siti Nurhaliza, Manohara, Malaysian students..bla bla bla..lots of thing. And when there's nothing to talk about, maybe because there is still a little amount of awkward, i read the magazine and then my novel "Al-Quran Braille buat Nadia".
Suddenly, one of the worker came and sit in front of me asking me about the novel i read. I explained and then offered her my other novel. As the title  "Jalan Cinta Para Pejuang". She suddenly asked me about Cinta aka Love and here goes the conversation:

Dia : Mbak Nabilah, sebenarnya cinta itu wujud ga?
Saya : Maksud mbak? wujud gimana itu? *weird face*
Dia : Maksudnya cinta itu wujud ga dalam Al-Quran?
Saya : Ohhh..hmmmph, kalu bagi Mbak, cinta itu maksudnya apa?
Dia : Cinta itu bagi saya pertemuan antara dua insan gitu. (what she meant is couple)
Saya : ohh..okay..ermm..kalau begitu, gimana pula cinta kepada ibu bapa? atau mungkin cinta kepada Allah? Wujud ga?
Dia : Thinking face..ohhh..iya kannn

I explained to her about love although I knew only a little about it. Cinta itu wujud, love does exist, even in Al-Quran Allah stated about how mankind would love their family, property, keduniaan more than Allah and his Messenger. And that's how a life of a man is ruined which is when the love is not poured into the right path.

And then she asked; how about the love between a man and a woman? In Islam, does it exist?
Yes it DOES exist. Allah has created us to have desire (nafs), in a way that we could attract to something, including the attraction between man and woman. But at the same time Allah give us intelligence (akal) to control our desire. So, love between a man and woman does exist, but it's our decision to make it haram or halal. And, the halal way, of course by nikah.

And she asked again, why is it haram to berpacaran (couple)?
I smiled and asked her, mbak tau ga zina hati? She nodded and said "zina hati tu kaya kalau kita teringat2 sama pacar kita ya?" I added "iya, itulah antara perkara yang membuatkan cinta itu haram. tambahan pula, kalau pacar2 kan mau pegang-pegang, itu pun haram kan. Mending nikah aja mbak..hehe".
And then, she smiled and said "oh, iya gitu ya. Baru aku ngerti"

and the conversation didn't stop there;

Dia : kalau begitu, mbaknya, kapan mau nikah?
Saya : Errr..

p/s: correct me if I'm wrong. :)

the Game.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

This week was really a hectic week. Lots of reports to be done, lots of tiny-circular cells to be drawn ( okay, I am talking about Pathology Anatomy ), two discussion to be made; acute appendicitis + leukemia, workplans, tests and quiz. And most of them were to be submitted on the same day. Well done, i was a robot on last Tuesday, added with some unstable emotions.

So, last night I went out with the girls from my Bulatan Gembira, Faramie and Linda, took a little time to get this head some rest form keep blending the assignments whatsoever. Well, actually this hangout was planned since last block, but we were too busy that we could only have it yesterday.

What I could say about the hang out, Alhamdulillah, it was AWESOME or maybe OSEM! Seriously, I've never had an outing like what i had yesterday. it not just an outing. it was more than that.

okay, lemme tell you what did we do during the hang out.

It was approximately at 5pm when we (Linda and me) left house went to Falah to fetch Faramie as her Lemonade ( her scooter got name..hoho) was sick. Then we straightly go to Amplaz, arrived there at about 30-40 minutes later. So, the plan was, we would buy presents for each other and give them during the makan-makan. So we splitted up, making our own directions to buy presents. So, i went to my favourite spot, which is Carrefour, to be specific at the area of plates and cups. but, naah..none of them caught my eyes. but what was actually caught my eyes is Linda! Oh my. kantoi habiss..uwaaa! we looked at each other, laughing out loud..

me: kak linda, nape kak linda kat sini? uwaa..kantoi laa.
Linda : abel!

Out of many shops, it was so funny that we were in Carrefour, and was at the same area and at the SAME TIME! Then we splitted again. I got some cute gifts for them, Hello Kitty keychains and adorable feathered pens. At about 6.15, we met. It was only me that already had presents for them. but Faramie and Linda came with empty hands. They were so blank, don't know what to buy within a short time. So, we went to perform our Maghrib prayer.

After that, the searching game started again, so I took a walk to add on a few things for them. Again, I went to Carrefour, with the intention to go to the same area just now. there, I saw a familiar headscarf, okay..it was Linda AGAIN! *buat-buat tak nampak*

I went to the different area, area of towels and what made me excited was, I could write name on the towels for a reasonable price. so, i bought three face towels, ask the workers to write our names on the towel. ( it wasn't written actually, it was like sulam. here it is called bordir)

Then, as we promised, we met at Solaria. Faramie was already there, reciting Quran. Then, after Linda arrived, we start our makan2. While waiting for the food to come, we recite surah Az-Zumar 39 : 6-10. Then, did some tadabbur, sharings, qardhoya (curahan hati). The food came. After we ate, we started to change presents. I got a nice heat-proof glass baking dish from Linda and a multipurpose fexible Rose from Faramie. Jazakumullah Khair sisters! *i hope they like my gifts too*
Then at about 9am we went back home. Happy!

my presents;
the rose from Faramie
the dish form Linda
The towel from Me.
*hearts*

oh please, I want to do it more!

Disunahkan seorang muslim memberikan hadiah kepada saudaranya, berdasarkan hadis bahawa Rasulullah saw bersabda:

 «وَتَهَادُوْا تَحَابُّوْا»

Kalian harus saling memberi hadiah, maka kalian akan saling mencintai. (HR. Bukhari).

grateful, i am.

Assalamualaikum.

the missing blogger is now back in town. hihi

So here i'm writing, distracted by this blogging thingy, makes me away from my lecture slides.

oh, ya exam is in 3 days. THREE DAYS! ok, whatever. let the story begin;

err..may i scream "ALHAMDULILLAH" as loud as i can? please, pretty please please?
Ya, Allah thanks for everything around me, good things, bad things..i believe they are tests for me to get closer to you.

As long as I live, i've never been in this feeling. the feeling of too grateful that I wanna cry badly.

I have lots of good things happen around me.

Parents that love me although they are far away from me. My sisters and my only brother. Thank you Allah for them.
Friends that I could keep. Friends that always stay with me, be the shoulder to cry on. Thank you Allah for them.

Mama2 usrah saya and Bulatan Gembira saya. weee:D those yg always witness my tears. Sorry for being emotional time2 "qordhoya". Thank you Allah for them.
My hamsters and their babies. so cute that I wanna squeeze them.

My life, that is way better than those on the streets, waiting people to give a few rupiahs. And the scholarship, education, scooter. etc etc.

Ya Allah terlalu banyak nikmat yang Allah bagi. Countless! 

 ''Dan jika kamu menghitung-hitung nikmat Allah, niscaya kamu tidak dapat menentukan jumlahnya. Sesungguhnya Allah benar-benar Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.'' (QS An Nahl [16]: 18)

I believe that you guys own so many things. maybe much much more than what I got. jom duduk sejenak and think "have we said Alhamdulillah for all those things?"

But sometimes, something went wrong, something went missing, something was taken away. 

but we feel sad badly as if everything was gone. And na'uzubillah, we blame Allah for that, questioning 'Why is this happening, why i couldn't get what I wished for? Why Allah? Why?

but Allah says 

"...boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak Mengetahui." (Al-Quran Surat Al-Baqarah Ayat 216)

Sometimes what we wished for is not beneficial for us, but we just don't know it yet.
For example, I wished I am even richer than Bill Gates, that sounds beneficial for me right? And if Allah granted my wish, oh yeaaah, I'm gonna have lots of money, I can buy this and that, I can fly to whenever I want..bla bla..
but Allah knows best. maybe if I am that rich, I would forget who I am. I would forget my Creator and that would be totally maleficient! TOTALLY! (p/s: it's just an example)

I wanna share this story, heard it from someone. About a sahabat of Rasulullah, if I'm not mistaken.
There was a ceremony back in that time. And a some kind of pudding was served, but a sahabat didn't want to eat it.

Another sahabat asked "why didn't you eat the pudding?"

The-I-dont-want-to-eat-pudding-sahabat said "I dont wanna eat it because I am afraid I won't be grateful if I had only a glass of plain water next time"
The-another-sahabat replied "Are you silly? We should be grateful for sekecil mana pun nikmat Allah"

The pudding signifies something yang WOW and the plain water, well it's just plain. The sahabat afraids that bila dia dah dapat something yang WOW, and the next time dia dapat something yang plain, he won't be grateful. That's not the way it is. Supposedly, anything yang Allah bagi, kita mesti bersyukur sebenarnya. Sekecil mana pun. Maybe now, we always sleep on the bed, but in anytime, we would need to sleep on a thin mat. Alhamdulillah, we still have place to sleep.

"I wished for a car. but I got a scooter instead. Alhamdulillah."

I'm not good at story telling, but I hope you get the point. Thank you.

midnite date with Allah.

Assalamualaikum wbt..

1) have you ever heard about qiyamullail (prayers at nite)? if you did, that's good!
2) have you ever practice it, once at least? if you did, wow..it's great!
3) do you istiqamah (consistent) in performing it? if you DO, then..alhamdulillah, you're just awesome. :)

3 little questions, and what are our answers for them?

let me give a brief definition of qiyamullail. although i know, we all had learned about it in school back then.
qiyamullail comes from qiyam; wake up for a while and lail; night.
so, the combinations bring the meanings spend a part of the night with ibadat like solat or others.


there are lots of benefits in performing qiyamullail. some of them are stated in this hadith;

He (SAW) said :“You should pray Qiyaam al-Layl, for it is the habit of the righteous people who came before you, and it will bring you closer to your Lord, expiate for bad deeds, prevent sin, and expel disease from the body.”[at-Tirmidhee and Musnad Ahmad]

What do you feel when performing qiyamullail?
taken from someone's answer;

"based on my not-too-much-experience, when i woke up at the night, i could feel the calmness, the tranquility, and i feel so tiny as a God's creation, i feel the loneliness as if i don't have anyone around but Allah.
it's just the feeling that you want to focus on your ibadah, to confess everything to Allah, to ask anything from Allah, to reminisce every mistakes you've done and the feeling that you want to ask forgiveness from Allah.
it's just the right time that you could pour all of of your tears to wet your prayer mat.
it's just the time that you want to get closer to Allah. 
it's just the midnite date of you and your Creator"

waaah, jom same-same cari feeling tuh..:)

lately, i don't know why, but this body feels too weak to wake up at night and selalu sangat tak dengar alarm. nabilah, semangat!