bencana.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Everyone has one. The difference is; how BIG your 'bencana' is?

anda galau? anda tidak keruan?

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Firstly, alhamdulillah, exam's over and OSCE's result is out. Whatever the result is; always remember

 "Saya taktaulah ni nikmat or ujian, tapi saya bersangka baik sahaja kepada Allah" :)

Btw, had my first part of  lembu untuk qurban this year. Alhamdulillah, umur dah almost 21 baru nak qurban. Dulu saya ingat bapak2 or mak2 je yang selalunya qurban. Tapi, hikmahnya saya duduk kat bumi Yogyakarta ni, dapatlah membiasakan diri dengan qurban pada usia2 yang actually tak berapa nak muda ni. Anda  bila lagi? Jom pakat ramai2 kumpul duit untuk qurban next year! :)

And then, I don't know why suddenly tetiba kegalauan melanda this week. I dont really know how to define GALAU. I think it's like 'tidak keruan' or 'tak tau nak buat ape walaupun banyak benda kene buat' or 'rasa susah hati sebab rase mcm kene kawen sekarang, tapi takda calon'..(okay itu contoh ya! contoh!) or apa-apa jenis keserabutan kat otak, mengikut situasi masing-masing. hoho

Saya galau tawuuuu! galau!

Saya pun galau jugakkkk! nak nangis! T.T

Jadi dalam kes saya, mungkin saya akan mengambil definisi GALAU yang bermaksud 'tidak keruan'. Saya taktaulah ape kena dengan saya. Makan banyak, tidur banyak, malas banyak. Mungkin ade kecacatan kat Mutabaah Amal saya kot and saya perlu muhasabah diri bebanyak kot. bukan kot, memang perlu pun!

Sejak kebelakangan ni bumi jogja ni panas bebeno. Lagi panas daripada time musim kemarau dulu. Bahangnya ya Allah..berminyak-minyak muka bila bangun tidur. Malam semalam pun sama, dahlah panas, galau pulak tuh. Atas katil ade baju2 yang fresh dari ampaian and of courselah nak kene lipat. Tapi dengan kegalauan yang melanda, saya rasa mcm takde mood nak buat ape-ape. Nak tidur, dah banyak tidur. Sah! Ini budak memang galau!

At last, saya buka la lappy. Buka windows media player. Ingat nak cari lagu-lagu yang slow. Lagu-lagu yang saya rasa bila saya dengar bolehlah menenangkan hati yang galau. Tapi tengah pilih-pilih tu ternampak list bacaan quran. Terdetik hati nak pasang Al-Mulk kemudian surah-surah yang seterusnya. Subhanallah, alhamdulillah, kegalauan tadi *chennnggg chengggg!* bertukar menjadi satu ketenangan. Rasa bersemangat nak buat keje semua. Teringat dalam Quran, Allah cakap dalam surah Ar-Rad : 28;

 الَّذِيْنَ ءَامَنُوْا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوْبُـهُمْ بِذِكْرِ اللهِ أَلا بِذِكْرِ اللهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوْبُ

28. (yaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka manjadi tenteram dengan mengingat Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah-lah hati menjadi tenteram.

"Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah, hati menjadi tenteram"

Sweetnya Allah tu, dalam kegalauan, Dia detikkan hati saya untuk mendengar ayat-ayat suci-Nya sebab Dia tahu itulah yang saya sedang perlukan sekarang. Subhanallah.

p/s: jadi anda galau? anda tidak keruan? Saya pasti anda tau apa yang anda perlu lakukan! :)

nama baru belog saya?

Assalamualaikum.

I don't know why, but tetiba rasa macam nak renovate my blog. The layout and all.
*Ohhh of course! Time-time nak dekat exam and with things around lah baru rajin nak melekat kat blog kan?

Okay, for the time being, I'm thinking of ermm changing my blog's name. from living room to hurmm

"under construction?"

eheh. *still thinking*

some miscellaneous things.

Assalamualaikum.
Okay today I feel like talking about some miscellaneous things.

#1
Been busy since I came back from Eid holiday. Palliative care conference, MSK (though i dun really know what my role actually is), Sambutan Hari Raya (this one is a big one) and taraaa.."WEEK 5"! And I was like, "whaaaat? exam is in 2 weeks je lagi!" T_T

#2
Lost my passport back in Malaysia. Also, lost my permit and stuffs. Really, much thanks to the burglars (desperately want to kick you in the face..oops). Still, until today, my KITAS (a temporary stay permit) has not been settled yet. You know, it has been 9 times I went to the immigration office. Next visit would be the 10th!

#3
Woke up in one morning, only to be acknowledged that "Many people say susah if kahwin dengan doktor. Nanti jarang balik rumah. Kemas rumah, masak nanti husband yang kena buat". Broken-hearted. Sabar ye wahai para doktor!

#4
Made my first short film "Ini Kisah Aku" for the Hari Raya event. Well, basically the message is seriously a big reminder for me. I guess I was kind of away from the track. I spend most of my time with this and that. But this heart really hopes that Allah may accept them as ibadah. Amiinn. Btw, do watch it here; Ini Kisah Aku . It is about a journey of a Rp2000 (sama dgn 80sen cmtuh) Semoga bermanfaat. :)

#5
Got a bad news. Most part of me says it's not true. But I don't know. Ya Allah, semoga semuanya baik-baik sahaja.

#6
Being mad at someone but I feel bad about it at the same time.

#7
Rindu rumah. Tetibe. My parents had just moved into a new house in JB. Can't wait to see my room! Seriously dekat dengan Danga Bay. Bolehlah turun Singapore pasni. Hee!

#8
Research oh researchhhh! *pening*

#9
It's time for me to, you know increase my speed in this track. When I was asked to handle that particular thing, I was like.."Ya Allah, layak ke aku?" I'm afraid that I am not good enough at DF-ing people. But, got some words from a friend "Give it a try. Usaha je. Allah yang ketuk hati tu..tapi dalam masa yang sama kena tambah ilmu and amal tu" Thanks love! Semoga semuanya dipermudahkan. Amin.

#10
Read my friends' blogs talking bout Jatuh Cinta yang pertama dengan Allah. Hmm. Rase macam kena tembak sekejap. Jom sama-sama cari saat2 tu balik. T_T

#11
Should be married on my birthday this year coz the date would be "211112". Awesome kan? Kikiki..:P

c'est tout! (that's all)

Those stories are mine now.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Assalamualaikum wbt...

Today, I'm an almost-21-year-old girl. Lots of stories I've known on my way to reach this stage of my life. I was a bookworm back in my primary school. I enjoy reading stories about life, investigations..not that lovey-dovey-Alaf 21-novels. But, my interest in reading storybooks faded when I entered secondary school. I guess, that was just because there were textbooks needed more attention. Apart of reading, I got to know more stories by watching movies, news, gossiping, listen to the radio, went to talks and etc.

Those stories I heard, they're  variable. From a happy-colourful story to a grey-sorrow-sad-sad story..and there were stories that I wish they would never occurred to me. The stories that don't need me to be a part of the characters. And for these stories, I wish I just could be a reader or a watcher that would learn something from them.

But Allah has His own plans for me. When Allah says 'kun fayakun', so be it. And..taraaaa, I guess I've became the main character in one of the stories. I'm pretty sure there must be something that He wants me to learn from what I'm confronting right now. Perhaps people around me would say "Poor she" or "Pity her" or whatever. Thanks for the sympathies but what made me stronger is the fact that our life in this dunya is short. too short if compared to the Hereafter. Seriously, what made me strong is my faith to Allah and His promises. He's the best listener ever. Allah sebaik-baik tempat bergantung. And, someday this story would come to an end. Either it's a happy ending or sad ending, I don't know. But all that I hope, I would settle down peacefully in the Afterlife phase, insya-Allah..amiinnn..

what's your story, btw?

malapetaka

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Semalam, saya ber-bualatan gembira dengan mereka yang special. Ahaks.
Jadinya, share punya share..bincang punya bincang tiba-tiba Mama Usrah kitorang pun bagi satu soalan.

Apa malapetaka korang?

Yes, apa malapetaka yang pernah korang alami?  Mama Usrah pointed at each of us. Blank.
Tapi, kitorang blank bukanlah sebab kitorang tak pernah tak mengalami sesuatu yang buruk. No. Of course lah pernah. But, we don't know what was the worst incident that we had, that could be something yang boleh dilabel as 'malapetaka'.

Someone came up with the idea "saya rasa remed (repeat) anatomy exam kot malapetaka"
and the other "inhall microbiology kot. sebab kene halau keluar kelas"
and my opinion "dapat result exam teruk kot?"

Haha. memang nampak sangat lah kita semua ni memang exam-oriented punya people. ni memang student hardcore habis kan.

Palestinians, Syrians would be totally LOL-ing at us (laughing out loud). And they would say;
"Derrr, result kau teruk sikit jer pun. Tu pun boleh remed kooot. Ade tak dia menjejaskan nyawa kau? Keselamatan kau? Takde kann.."

Ehhh..point saya terlari sekejap. Apa yang saya nak highlight kat sini is; isn't it too obvious yang kita, students nih dah didoktrin dengan exam, exam dan exam..


Since when eh?..since umur kita around 7 tahun kan. So, when it comes to exam, kite sanggup duduk dalam bilik tuh berjam-jam..tak makan, tak minum, tak pergi toilet, tak tidur etc etc. Betapa besarnya impact exam tuh kat kita kan. Kan? Kan?

Tapi sebenarnya, kita semua tengah mengalami malapetaka tawuu sekarang nih. Indeed it's a big one. Have you seen the world around us. The world is now ruled without justice, Muslims been killed sesuka hati, maksiat everywhere, babies dibuang mati, and paling penting sekali is benda yang haram dibolehkan malah diperlukan. (eg: card credit is known as a system yang ade unsur-riba riba obviously. but somehow, saya rasa ramai orang guna card nih skrg. Indeed, in some business, card credit diperlukan gitu.)

Betapa dunia kita sekarang dah macam menyerupai zaman jahiliyah dulu kan. Sila check ya ciri-ciri zaman jahiliyah yang dulu. And buatlah comparison dengan apa yang berlaku sekarang. Insya-Allah, akan nampak persamaan di situ.

and "oh, itulah malapetaka saya yang sekarang" *baru sedar*. kikiki

for most of words i wrote above, about how a student think; it is 100% about me. Betapa hidup saya dah dicorakkan dengan something yang sekular. hoho~

ps: OH, YA..APA MALAPETAKA KORANG?

it's not as easy as...

assalamulaikum wbt

Well, we all do know what word comes after the 'as' in the title up there. it is ABC.

Recently, I lost a grandmother, whom I would always dearly addressed her as Maktok. It was a great shock for me, because I was on the phone with her within a month before she was gone and she sounded okay. I mean okay; as healthy as always. She may have some problems with her knee a.k.a arthritis. But , it was just that. And the last time I've checked, arthritis wouldn't cause mortality, except if you fall due to arthritis. So, that night, she was gone due to breathing difficulty.

That call I got at 7am, really really shocked me. But since then, I've tried to get myself busy, by avoiding staying alone in my bedroom, if not..my tear glands would be stimulated. But still, whenever I went to bed, I would always have her in mind. It's like I'm flashing back all the memories I had with her. I could see how she would greet me with hugs and kisses whenever I went back to kampung. I could feel how I would hold her arms when she was having difficulty in walking. And, I would miss to experience that all over again.

Some people may have the thought 'she's only your grandmother, not your mother or father' so why bother grieving too long?. I'm sorry that those people may not have a good relationship with their grandparents,but the relationship i had with my Maktok is special. I would call her whenever I have problems or some hot stories to be told, she knew my crushes and stuffs. Or maybe asking for recipes. And, I also planned to stay with her during the upcoming holidays. Can you imagine how close we were?

And then one day, I had a talk with my friend, who had experienced a loss in her life too. I would not tell details of our conversations because it was a long one but she told me in the Quran, it is stated that our time of death has been  decided by Allah, and it would not be any faster or later than that. It made me think that how healthy a person is, the death is not any further from that person. People don't need a sign to be gone.

So do you..and me.

Alhamdulillah, after the talk, I am abled to be calm again. Maybe I've heard what I wanted to hear, not what I have/need to hear. Merci mon amie. Till death do us apart.

p/s: and how does my title relates with my situation?

to deal with the death of the loved ones, it is not as easy as ABC..